Hi Cami,

Yeah, dealing with uncertainty is difficult for a lot of people, especially if you are an anxious type.  No-one can control or see the future, you just have to do the best you can with what you have. It sounds like you made the best decision you could at the time to deal with this contract – deciding to try to make a go of it rather than breaking up then.

So that could be what you need to focus on doing now – making the best of it and getting through it. It sounds like you are pretty emotionally dependent on your boyfriend, so perhaps try and see this as an opportunity given to you to practise being ok, developing your own strength and emotional resilience – it will do nothing but help you throughout life after all.

Try to make sure the time you get to talk to each other is a positive experience – one of looking forwards together to the year being over and enjoy thinking about what you will do together. The last thing you want is for your guy to start dreading your calls, make sure what time you do get together is used well – not dominated by trying to make you feel better. Take responsibility for doing that for yourself.

I’m curious – not that I’m suggesting this is a good idea necessarily – but what stops you travelling to the same place he is anyway – I assume because of your work?  I get you couldn’t stay with him if the military don’t allow it but they can’t stop you travelling for visits right?! You know when you can take holiday – perhaps even if you can’t go away with him, you could at least figure something out to stay nearby to see him in his off-time?

Pragmatically, you should get refunded for the travel unless it was specifically non-refundable and even then your travel insurance should cover it.

Hope you’ve made it out for some exercise today – nothing better for working out anxieties than a calming walk in nature.