Milo,

Can I ask what stops you from doing these things for people? It’s very good that you cared for your dad when he was sick and cleaned up for him, etc., but what would stop you from honoring his last wish?  Your feelings for your uncle aside, it likely would’ve meant a lot to your dad to have you there with him for support. Did he show you support as you were growing up or not really so supportive?

I’m really sort of at a loss at the moment when it comes to what you can say to diffuse the tension with your family because they’re probably viewing what you did (or didn’t do, as it were) as very unsupportive, and that’s likely why they’re upset, and you also seem kind of cold about people in some ways (not caring if someone lives or dies, for instance). That really seems like you have a lack of empathy. I’m just trying to get an idea for where your head is at with all of this and might be able to be more helpful then… but if you don’t genuinely care about how others feel, then I’m not sure there’s actually a way to ease tension unless they just sort of let it go.