I think that is a lovely sentiment and I can picture it well – the idea of home and coming home to them- ‘ I am supposed to have someone to come home to, who is home. Who we can both do that for eachother in a safe space. or just rest and nap together and rejuvenate and be present with one another.’ I really hope you do find that person or L does her learning and growing and then wakes up and smells the coffee. I can see why you would worry about the connection not lasting but I think it is like we have talked about, people don’t really forget and people change based on your influence so they can not go back to before meeting you. I get how it is hard as you have kind of released her and see what she does – like the butterfly quote about letting what you love go and if they come back to you it was meant to be- but I think even if they don’t it does not mean they don’t love you or that you aren’t meaningful to them. I did not make the choice at the time to be with someone I deeply loved for many reasons – so you could say he let me go and I did not come back- but I know I still love him and I know he is meaningful in my life and life has moved on so we aren’t together and won’t be (unless something impossible happens) so just because we aren’t together does not make him any less important and my love for him any less. He said it did eg I should of proved my love to him, but at the time I was torn- it is back to what you said about growing.. but i still love him deep in my heart even though we aren’t together.  It is hard though isn’t it. As love you expect people to be together and live a life and not being together means (well in my case anyway) not seeing or speaking to them ever again- kind of the opposite of love.

Ah I am actually a bit jealous of you liking comedies! I feel like I have struggled to laugh in a long long while. I don’t feel in the right head space for comedies or romance films. Could not stop crying after watching la la land! The ending was just too sad for me haha oh dear!