Thank you all for the feedback. What I have been doing lately is vocalizing some of the issues we had in our relationship to my few close friends, and my dad. Talking about the bad stuff so it stays in my conscious mind. To my friends we seemed perfect…pictures on Instagram and Facebook can be a bit misleading, but my dad saw us (in real life) often. He could tell I was miserable and he could sense some red flags that were going on with her and our relationship. Hes been a great source for reminding me that her absence is definitely for the best.

I’m still fighting urges to call or text her…I actually blocked her number and social media accounts. Shes reached out to me lately wanting to drop something off she has of mine. She wants to come over…Its not really something I care about so I told her to toss it. Then her parents dog became lost in my neighborhood and she asked that I help try to find it…I ignored the call and voicemail. I did drive around and look for the poor animal though. Her contacting me really triggered some emotions within me…made it even more difficult not to reach out.

One more thing as this is getting quite long…sorry. We have broken up and reconciled before. When we got back together it was so wonderful. We were really going to work on things and I’m sure at the time we meant it, but one year later with ring on finger, everything went back to “normal” which means ignoring the 10 elephants in the livingroom… I’m assuming it would be the same if we reconciled yet again. I know it’s time to let go and move on, but oh man what a laborious task it can feel like at times…