Dear Anita,

The key point being :

child witnesses her mother getting positively excited over the prospect of CC going to another home

CC believes to make her mother happy, she must continues these endeavors.

When she is an adult, even if her mother is not in the picture – it is deeply ingrained.  Go elsewhere – make mom happy – you must, to make mom happy.

Now, current CC is not just tired, she is bitter.  Bitter that she had to keep going elsewhere to make mom happy! And even if she did, mom never WAS HAPPY! But she can’t turn it off.

She is sick and tired, and wish she didn’t have this deeply ingrained.