needing to make*

Also was thinking a lot about how you said your TF said “they’ve never been in love before.” Yep mine too. I thought it was bizarre, especially since they were in a relationship for over 8 years.. A lot of the things that’s come up has let me know they’ve got a lot of work to do. I do too, but I’m always honest about that. I’ve helped them a lot, but my spirit is telling me “LET THEM DO THEIR OWN WORK…” And they’ve got a lot of work to do.

In the perfect world they’d just do it, let go of what needs to be let go, do right, forgive, move on from their past, open up etc… Things that I find very easy.. yet, I can’t quite seem to stay discipline in my own diet or meditation schedule…lol I’m way better now that I’ve cut out social media. But that’s just to say, we are all working on things. I can’t judge them until I get my own stuff together yes, but they still have been pretty lousy towards me – TF or not. And they don’t get passes for that. the best apology is changed behavior & whether they do so or not, I really don’t worry about it because I know my life is constantly creating more opportunities for my happiness & abundance.

Yea, I feel you on the dating thing. I am also dating others, friends/dating etc. My intention was really to make friends. But I decided to date too. Found myself laying in someones arms under the stars, i felt conflicted. it was everything I wanted, but not with the person I wanted. And I felt so mentally messed up because the person i wanted it with (my TF), has not been able to show me they deserve access to me like that.

I still love them deeply. If they got it together while I was single & wanted to work it out, i’d consider it. But I am also okay with dating others, & im pretty optimistic now that whoever comes into my life whether its them or someone else, will be who I am supposed to be with & a good thing for me.

I too got all the signs, and the signs do get louder when you ignore & avoid it. But once you accept it, you’re not stuck, you just move forward and past it. It’s just a reminder to not turn back into old unhealthy patterns. And Im okay with that as initially i was on the wrong track.