Dear cali sister;

I remember you shared that with your mother death-was-upon-us at any time, or the end was. Never enough time was her message, so you shared. Wasn’t it?

Your fear and “having a hard time being OK with that things can be ok and that I do have time”- that is an old fear. Maybe some guilt added to  it because of the NC.

Reminds me of a poem I like that says: “Every one of us has to find a way to live with fear”. Fear- wherever it comes from and whatever it focuses on at any one time- fear itself cannot be eliminated. We cannot live a fear-free life. Fear is to be lessened and managed. Expecting it to no longer be there leads to repeated disappointments.

anita