Dear Angelgirl;

I just re-read all  your posts. Here is my input this morning:

1. I suggest that you see a doctor in the next few days for the inflammation/ health issues you mentioned. After you take care of that, get into a daily exercise routine that will fit your health situation. Join a gym perhaps (there are gym rooms in hotels while you travel for work), attend yoga classes, swimming perhaps, some weight lifting in the weight room, other exercise.

2. Your mother is having all her teeth removed and false teeth put in- a painful and uncomfortable experience- but it will be as painful and uncomfortable for her whether you are there with her or not,  as long as she has the necessary help that she needs there. If you are in India with her, her old teeth and gums will not heal and she will not grow younger, healthier and stronger. She will still need her teeth removed and it will still be painful and uncomfortable for her to get used to the false teeth.

3. You expressed a belief that a childless woman is a lesser woman and I strongly disagree. A childless woman of any age is way superior to a woman who treats her children badly (and there are plenty of such mothers). And a childless woman is not inferior to any woman who is a mother.

You have the freedom and responsibility to choose what beliefs promoted by your (or any) is true and valuable and what is not. Also, you have the freedom to not live in India or anywhere most people believe that a woman is worthless if she is unmarried and not a mother.

4. I hope you are not seeing that friends with benefits 39 or 40 year old man who didn’t take you out, wouldn’t be seen with you in public, and asked you to  introduce to him Eastern European women. This is a humiliating kind of an arrangement and you indicated yourself that he was taking advantage of you and was cruel to you. I understand that you suffer from a low self esteem (much of it because of what I mentioned in #3), but the arrangement with that man will keep you in that low esteem state of mind and life.

5. Congratulations for the new job. Focus on doing a good job, excelling in it. As you make money, save it and plan to use it for your own benefit, for your future. You don’t have family to look after you and take care of you now or when you get older. So use your money accordingly.

6. You wrote earlier in the year that you might go back to dating sites once you are employed again. If you do, take a proactive approach. Don’t tell a man what you need and then leave it up to him. Instead, be in charge and stay in charge, not passive. See to  it from the beginning that the man’s interest is clearly to not have children.

You repeated in your posts this point: “I’m a decent, genuine, affectionate woman. Yet I have nothing in life”-

– you cant have much of a life if you are not decent, genuine and affectionate in the ways you treat yourself and in the ways you demand that others treat you if they want you in their lives!

anita