July 10, 2019 at 9:56 am #302755
I understand what you say. I’ve tried to make the right choices in life. Choose from the options I had. I used to fear living alone after my dad died. But I live alone now. For extended periods of time and that is life. I have accepted it.
My mum’s visits are fine. We get along.. I love her as a person but I feel she explains everything away as karma or something better will happen one day. I have lost a lot in life and I was never valued personally for anything I brought to the table. My ex husband said i’m The best woman anyone can meet but what’s the point of that?
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I need to look after my mum but she is the only family who visits me. It gives me some sense of belonging in an otherwise lonely existence. I like being there for my mum. She was here December – February which is nice too. I might to go to India in December and spend time again but I don’t like going to India. I don’t fit in and it’s not my favourite thing to do. But we’ll see…</p>July 10, 2019 at 10:11 am #302761
Maybe this is why you’ve been puzzled about being a decent person and yet not having been rewarded with a good life- Karma, your mother believes in Karma, lots of people in India and elsewhere believe in Karma.
If Karma states that doing good for others will lead to having a good life, it is clearly not the true. Maybe if we do good for others and for ourselves, then we will live a good life. Ourselves first, we have to think of our own well being first, before thinking of others (in most life circumstances).
Because you don’t like going to India, I hope you don’t. You like having your mother with you, then I hope you have a good time with her.
July 10, 2019 at 10:17 am #302765
- This reply was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by anita.
Thank you Anita. I don’t believe in a good life anymore. I just want to get by and try and feel happy once in a while. I carry a lot of baggage – about how i’ve Been treated, the things that I never had in life. But it hasn’t made me a bitter person. I’m probably not very positive and proactive. Ever since I wrote to you, I have tried to think of what would make me happy and remove all the toxic people and situations from my life. I’ll continue to do that. And hope for the best.
Thank you so much. My mum is here till the end of September and arrives next week. I hope to try and find some strength.July 10, 2019 at 10:44 am #302767
You are welcome. “feel happy once in a while” is all anyone can hope for, can’t feel happy all of the time. This is why -people invented heaven, a place where people (in a next, imagined life) are happy all of the time, non-stop happy. No one can be content all of the time either, Nirvana is another imagined life, if I understand it correctly, where calm is a permanent experience, all good.
Wealth, how about great wealth, owning many homes, a whole little town, or an island, all the material possessions possible, best vacations money can buy.. not even then is happiness or contentment possible all of the time. After all, each very rich person who goes to bed at night knows all can be lost before morning comes and no amount of money can protect him or her from… losing it all, anytime.
It helps to understand life better, as it is, to let go of ideas that are not true to reality.
I hope you do find the strength that you need, “the energy to go on”- it is amazing how… no mater how we feel, we still have that energy of life. Life is a very persistent form of energy, it is stubborn, resilient, creative… and yet, temporary.