Hi Anita,

Funnily enough, I reread the forum yesterday and found that being separated from it with time has made me find more meaning in it. I am aware that I have tendencies that are connected to my family or origin stuff. I also understand that I have fear of making life-long commitments, and am perhaps using the idea of my ex as an escape and comfort as an ideal. My mind has idealized my past relationship, while I know that when I was in it, I didn’t feel good. And when I tried to rekindle the relationship later, it also didn’t feel good. I understand that I have a very great partner who chooses me, and I am very lucky. It makes it that much more painful to have these thoughts of my lingering past. A bunch of fear comes up for me when I think of the future, and I can’t seem to reconcile this. I really am trying.

Look forward to hearing from you,

V