Hi Malena,

I would cool it for a few more years. The mother is looking for drama out of habit. If your boyfriend doesn’t mention you and the kids don’t see you, there is simply nothing for her to be upset about. Of course this means she’ll have to look for something else to be mad at. Probably her current boyfriend.

Then when all the kids are in their twenties, I envision you getting married (?). This will resurrect the old drama, but it will be ancient and the mother will sound ridiculous even to herself. Quietly have a small ceremony (kids optional) and don’t make a huge production of it.

His children ARE in the middle, and why should they be in the middle of their parents’ torment? It’s not fair to them, and I would just live with it even though it’s not fair to you. You can handle it. An eleven and seventeen year old can’t.

Best,

Inky