Dear Gaia:

This is part of the healing process: “Before, I only knew it logically, now I know it”. It is the knowing aka learning on the logical and the emotional level.

Remember a few posts ago I wrote to you what your ideal professional help will look like? Part of it, restated here is: if you suffer too intensely, if you are too anxious, psychotherapy will not work. You will need to see a medical doctor/ a psychiatrist so to be prescribed with medication that will significantly lower your suffering/ anxiety. After that is done (and the relief and improvement if feeling can happen in the same day, in a few days or a few weeks), then you can sit in a psychotherapist’s office calm enough to be able to focus.

Even without considering psychotherapy, if you suffer too intensely, you should see a doctor for relief, so you don’t suffer anymore, or that you suffer way less. I suggest that you see a psychiatrist and if he doesn’t suggest it first to you, ask him about the SSRI group of anti- depressant drugs that many millions of people in the US and Europe are prescribed for obsessive thinking (OCD), not only for depression.

Please make an appointment as soon as possible. Let me know when you do that, will you?

(And regarding the fear of you getting a heart attack or a stroke- it is fear on top of fear, an escalation of fear, not a sign of real physical trouble leading to a heart attack or a stroke).

anita