I would not be able to go to a doctor or a psychotherapist without letting my parents know. And they would become mad if they knew. The school counselor is unavailable any time soon since he also happened to be the coach of my school’s sports team and they are going on a national level competition this Friday. Besides, if I talked to a counselor, there is no doubt that they will tell my parents. There happened to be an incident where my neighbor threatened my parents that they would call social services since they saw how I was being treated and my parents took out their anger on me and they have not forgotten. That was a couple of years ago but ever since then, I never told anyone else about my problems so talking to a counselor or doctor is out of the question. But like I said, I’ve grown used to this now and I call the feeling I get when I encounter this “Dark Energy” which I happen to like the more I experience it. It gives this weird negative feeling to me and it is the cause of the chest pain I sometimes have. I met another person who felt the same way as me except for different reasons. She felt this chest pain too but she does not like it and we both write about our experience whenever we encounter this “Dark Energy” and it helps to soothe our pain. Also, If you read my other thread, you will know that I loved someone, which also soothed the pain. And even better: the pain from getting rejected distracted me from the pain that I was already feeling. But eventually both feelings merged to create even stronger “Dark Energy”.