Hello,

Yes, there’s stuff that I feel like I need to get off my chest. I know a lot of people talk about closure in the sense that it is not needed, or at least the ones I’ve discussed it with, but I do feel closure brings me a lot of peace and clarity. So I’m going to write it all down, share it on here and sit on it for a week.

Yes, I am afraid of that. If I’m being honest, I feel like I kind of lost my mental stability in this relationship because I let my emotions (love, fear, disappointment) take over my actions.

And in my past relationships.. I guess my first one was difficult because it was new to me. I wanted freedom and he wanted me to compromise and prioritize him in my life. So I did. And at first it was tough to get through, but I slowly started enjoying having someone I could lean on. It was nice, but he leaned on me too and he has always had a lot of issues with his mental and even physical health. It got to a point where I felt like I was just there to take care of him and I always wondered who was taking care of me. It ended after being off and on for a good while. The funny thing is, I do talk to that ex of mine. He went through so much pain that I lived through with him. We didn’t talk for almost 3 years, and now we are actually decent friends. The other one was just bad timing. He was in the military and was set for deployment, so almost a year into the relationship, he left and I told him I couldn’t put myself through that. We didn’t talk throughout his deployment (a year). He ended up coming back earlier than expected and we tried to rekindle things, but it just wasn’t there anymore.