Hello,

I realize the way that sounded was a bit intense. I meant that I lost it during my relationship. I was doing crazy things, like checking his location, asking him too many questions if I felt suspicious. I usually am not the kind of person to doubt and worry, but I wanted so badly to believe that our relationship would grow that I never stopped to give myself time to heal and decide whether or not I would be able to forgive him. I think I can, and I probably should to let go. People aren’t perfect they will always make mistakes. It’s how the choose to act after those mistakes that show whether or not they want to do right, be better, etc.

I have been having a rough time sleeping. I also have my up and down rollercoaster of emotions. I usually wake up with that feeling of despair, knowing that part of my life is gone. Some days I feel hopeless and I cry a lot, other days I feel okay. It’s tough living through all this and not being able to leave home. I feel like I am always in my thoughts and can’t escape them. it might be good, as I am the kind of person that buries themselves in work when grieving, but I guess it’s just new to me and I’ve been struggling to understand it.