Dear Please:

I would like to understand what is troubling you so much, therefore I ask: can you define what you are referring to as this “serious problem” (similar to how a dictionary defines a term)?

anita

Dear Please:

I understand, I was diagnosed with OCD, it started early on, when I was a child. I understand your distress then. And I understand that it is not your fault: it has nothing to do with you being a racist or a monster (“I know people have strong opinions on this and will criticize me as if I’m a racist.. I feel like a monster”).

You suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, an anxiety fueled disorder. You are not a bad person. So please don’t think of yourself this way.

The disorder you suffer from is internal, people can’t see it, unlike the disorder you described, the overgrowth of skin- that’s external, people can see it. But both disorders are painful to have.

Are you on OCD medications, did you attend any therapy?

(I will soon be away for about 12 hours).

anita

Dear Please:

“No, I don’t believe in medication”. I don’t believe in psychiatric medications either unless a person is very desperate for help. And I figure that your words: “I consider death as the only option to escape… Please. Help. Me”- expressed acute desperation.

There is a class of psychiatric drugs called SSRI that are often prescribed for OCD. I took two SSRIs in my life: sertraline, and later fluvoxamine. When I first took sertraline for my obsessive thinking, it felt like a pair of scissors in my brain cut the chains of thoughts leaving my brain empty, and relieved. Sertraline is often taken in the morning because it has a stimulating effect and fluvoxamine is often taken in the evening because it has a calming effect. I am no longer on any psychiatric medications and my OCD symptoms are almost not there.

If you get on any of these drugs, it may provide you the relief you need so to attend psychotherapy or some kind of therapy that does not involve drugs. Once you feel better and received enough therapy, you can get off the drugs, just like I did.

Other suggestions:

1. Don’t try to not think about what you are thinking: the more you escape the thoughts and images in your brain, the more these thoughts and images will chase you. Consider that the thoughts and images in themselves are not dangerous. After all, you had them for so long and you are still alive. So  consider letting them be. Let them be, and they are more likely to not stay around.

2. The particular image that repeats in your mind, the “lower face grew skin” image- take a piece of paper and draw that image. Do so while listening to calming music, while as calm as you can be. And do so every once in a while. This will soften that image in your brain, making it less scary.

anita