Yes I have felt the same way you do.

I felt this way once I’d graduated from Uni. I had a sort of quarter life crisis and I didn’t know what direction I wanted to go in.

I believe it is because I grew accustomed to having my life planned out, sometimes years in advance. As soon as I started high school I knew that I would studying and living the academic lifestyle until I was at least 21. I had options, but they were limited.

Then suddenly I was out in the real world after graduating and I had all these possibilities and choices. It was liberating and I didn’t really know what to do. I had a series of minor jobs and I dated, but nothing really stuck and I often wondered to myself ‘What do I want’.

I was looking for a vocation and for something which would feel life changing and wonderful.

Slowly I’ve come to realise that I’m not a person who has a vocation and that most people aren’t. I think the idea of ‘finding what you are meant to do’ is a peculiarly Western one. For most of the rest of the planet, living is just living, in in most of those cases, it’s a struggle to get from one day to the next.

I think that as humans we are just meant to live and spend most of our time on working to provide for ourselves. I think most people don’t find what they ‘want’ because such a thing doesn’t really exist. Most of us don’t have desires beyond providing for our material means, finding love and having some fun.

I realised I am content ‘just’ being a wife and mother and that is what I want, if I want anything at all.

I hope that made sense!