Dear anita,

Here are some news :

I didn’t get to see Y the day we were supposed to meet. She told me that things are going too fast for her and that she needs more time before we see each other. I am supposed to see her when she comes back (on the 20th August).

Sadly, things didn’t go as expected. We were supposed to call each other today and she sent me a message telling me that she does not feel ready for a relationship, that she is too “unstable”, that she loves talking to me, that she’d like to stay friends with me.

I was and am still in shock. I really didn’t expect this. I feel devastated and once again, there seems to be some kind of curse around my love life. I can’t stand it anymore, I want this to end. I still can’t completely believe what she wrote to me. I cried a lot and still do, I feel angry as well. I can’t help but blaming myself. “What have I done wrong? What’s wrong with me?, Why do things keep happening that way?” I feel that Love is a major waste of time, energy and meaning in life but I know it is not. I’m alone at home and there’s no one I could see. She keeps taking too much time answering my messages and just told me that she’s out for eating this evening and that she will answer me later…lol

I think she may be afraid of commitment because she’s never been in a relationship. But to me, being afraid is the opposite of loving.

I feel a bit dazed.

Daniel