@Tim I hope you don’t feel ignored, I just wanted @Lucie to get the attention. Hopefully, @Shelbyville can guide her whilst @Kkasxo returns.

I really appreciate the effort and time you put in to respond so I wanted to reply properly. I’ve taken a leaf out of your book put subheadings to break up each topic as I have so much to write!! Firstly thanks so much for the motivation.

ROMCOMS
There’s nothing wrong with a man being knowledgable about romcoms, women definitely appreciate watching one with their man.

ALCOHOL
This past week has been good, I’ve hit my stride with the walks and runs. It’s meant I’ve cut down to just wine in the evenings now. It’s progress! I think the more good your body feels t makes you less inclined to abuse it.

DUMPING SHIT PEOPLE
It’s been a mixed affair, I reached out to some friends who had not been in touch because I think everyone deserves to tell their side of things. A few were apologetic and said they would come around so I thought I’d give them a chance but then they didn’t, which pissed me off as I feel like I should have just ghosted. I think you are right it is time for a spring clean of people who add nothing. I am learning to actually be more appreciative and give back to the good’uns like my best friend, the new colleague who is a sweetheart and has gone above and beyond when she’s known me for few months. I find it hard to grasp how a stranger i.e. yourself, @Shelbyville, the new colleague can show so much understanding and be so kind and generous with time and energy whilst the ones you have known for years disappoint you and realise they weren’t actually real or there for you during tough times. I have a new outlook which is pushing me to become better and surround myself with better. So thank you.

YOU
I have to say your journey is inspiring, you really did turn your life around. Do you ever wonder where you’d be if you hadn’t? I like that you don’t hide your flaws and mistakes, you are honest it makes you so relatable. You have really learned alot.
How did your interviews go? It’s a tough situation at the min. What do you need help with? I would be happy to help, sounds exciting! Your partner is lucky to have someone willing to change by himself.

MENS WANTS
Your insight on men is so eye-opening, I’m definitely screenshotting all that as a reminder. Reading some of what you wrote was hard to swallow but it is true. I gave too much and I would have continued to do so, where was my self worth? If he didn’t call time, I would have continued as I was, surviving on his crumbs. This made me feel queasy to see how much I lost myself. I do hope you are right that he regrets what he lost but I don’t want to be feeling as I am when/if I learn he has committed to another woman. I think it will destroy me. So that in a weird way is pushing me to change, evolve, and try and move on myself.

WOMENS WANTS
You have some very cool and insightful people around you so no excuses for not putting your best foot forward.
I agree immature men find it much easier to walk away from a woman. GIG effect. Most women know what they want so if they leave a decent man then I’m afraid he doesn’t actually make her feel he is the one, Usually, when I’ve done it’s down to the sex, I just don’t love him or he is boring but very nice. Your friends are right we actually think about things for weeks and months before ending it. When we do we are already over it then just deal with feeling bad. So no we don’t have regrets like men often do. That’s why most men find break up so tough. After this heartbreak, I’ve vowed to never make someone feel the pain I did. I will if I ever feel ready to date be more aware.

ME

So I feel I’ve had a positive week even though I was hurt by my so-called friends, I feel I’m making baby steps. Therapy is good don’t get me wrong, but I just can’t sit in a room, 1-1 with a stranger and feel judged even though I know the therapist would never, but the smallest of expression change would make me feel small or agitated.