I wanted to add, as I asked for advice, what are my plans, what I think I should do, and that is as follows:

1) Practicing mindfulness, not just now in hard times, most of the times actually, making it part of my life, way of living. Also, now, when I start analyzing my relationships, or feeling sad or panic or anxiety I want to try to observe my emotions, not stop them but try to be an observer.

2) Appreciate what I have – spend time and connect with my family, friends, my cats also. Spend more time with my granny. And also appreciate all that, also my work and my health, I have a lot to be grateful for.

3) Find a hobby, a passion. Not I don’ feel that will be easy. I’m reading  these days, but I want also something more.. I plan to try playing an instrument again, also not sure if I want to draw again. And I also felt a strong desire to ride my bike, so I’m planning doing that, maybe on weekend mornings. I guess if these don’t work I may try something different. I’ve been feeling I need that for a time now.