@Tim I read your response today to @Shelbyville which mentioned me and bro you are so on the money with your relationship advice.

It is unlike me to fall for someone so quickly. I’m aware of the stats saying men fall first normally. I think you were dead right somewhere in that first 6 months I had subconsciously started falling for her but let the need for the escalation of the physical side and the self pity party convince myself otherwise!

Being around her is fun and I’ve been focusing on enjoying her company without letting myself be drowned out by the sexual desire. It’s proven I’ve got the real thing and I’m in deep!

The most bizarre thing happened. We were just chatting on the sofa and having a little heart to heart, I told her how I’d be overcome with sadness still for hurting her before and making her feel used. She was incredibly appreciative I had opened up about those feelings.

She spoke about repentance and self forgiveness going hand in hand. Then she made me write down those negative feelings I still had, using an ink pen, I had no idea where she was going but then she ran it under water and said the pain/sins were washing away and watching the words fade and paper dissolve was soothing it was like a physical symbolism of letting go.

Just the spiritual and emotionally understanding ‘B’ has, really surprises me. She has this natural ability to make you feel heard. When I initially met her that’s what drew me to her, I felt this ease that even though I was drowning under water with the events around me. She never ever minimised my pain. She always tried to either help or help me understand how to deal with it but never dismissed it like “toughen up” or “others have been through worse, you should be grateful.” I really took it for granted back then for sure!

Went bit off track to what I’m getting to but after that she suggested we do a trust fall. I had never done this before and I’m not being sexist she’s a strong lady mentally but I just felt falling backwards, she has a lithe figure and I could possibly hurt her with the impact of my frame and weight.

So she said 1,2,3 and instead I fell forwards as a joke . She fell on top of me in fits of giggle and in that moment when I rolled around to face her, I knew. I just knew it.

All the doubts, all the fears, everything just hushed itself. I felt this calmness overcome me. I realised I really do love her.

She made me do the fall again and I hate to admit it she caught me cleanly, so I’m a sexist pig haha!

Being with her is definitely benefiting other parts of my life and relationships too. She honestly is such a positive influence and keeps me in such a good space mentally and I can tell her anything and feel. I feel youthful around her and inspired to be better.

I have been sitting with it and cheesy as this may sound smiling at myself when I think about it. I haven’t said it out aloud but at the same time my heart is bursting to profess it to her, now that I’ve felt all those doubts disappear.

It has been just close to 3 weeks, is it too soon to say it? Technically in total its about 7/8 months of a relationship.

I really have found your insight valuable what do you advise @Tim?

My bro said life is too short (given his illness hits harder) and if I’m sure then it’s never too soon.

Ladies what’s your view @Sammy @Shelbyville @Kkasxo is it better to wait? Would you be happy to hear it or alarmed?

She wants to introduce me to her family over Christmas so I’m guessing she is feeling it’s heading in the right direction. She met mine on Friday and they think she’s just as amazing!

If it didn’t look so impulsive, I’d propose but I want to get to know her family and earn my place. Ask her father for her hand. I’m traditional like that.

What I was looking for was in front of me and creeping into my heart all along. I know some of you may think I’m caught up in the idea of it all but my pride caused me to lose a woman who I’ve loved all this time because I was not aware enough to address my fears, change my behaviour and apologise. I occupied myself by entering another relationship just so I wouldn’t face the feelings and miss her but it all caught up with me. I’m a better man for it and a lucky one to have even been given a chance. So I don’t want to ruin it again.