Yeah, many things in this world don’t seem fair. But if we focus only on the bad stuff, we can lose our minds.

It can’t all be bad, it can’t all be just so random. I am die hard atheist, but that doesn’t I don’t accept the idea of things we do not understand. I simply refuse to see it as some playground for a higher being.

I believe that too – it’s not all bad, and probably it’s not random either, at least I hope so. What we can do is do our best and then hope for the best. There are many factors we cannot influence, many things that can go wrong, that’s why we need hope. That’s why I am talking about hope so much… because without it, it’s so hard to move ahead.

There is a saying in Russian, “A dog is only mean when it lives a shitty life”, which is true in part. I’ve had a bad 5+ years and I feel like a beaten dog right now.

I agree with that saying. But it’s not just the last 5 years that’s been bad for you, but a lot of your childhood and youth. And this is what really determined you and your life experience now. You’d need to work on those childhood wounds, Felix. I know you’re seeing a therapist, so that’s cool. But anyway, you’d need to meet that boy and start to love him, to love yourself, in  order to truly move forward.

You say you don’t know how to love yourself:

I don’t know how, considering I hate my self quite a bit, but I will learn.

You’d need to get in touch with that inner child who was abandoned and neglected, and love him. Give him the love he deserves. Because I guess you do believe that little boy deserves love? He’s your way out and your strength, Felix.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 8 months ago by Tee.