Dear sossi:

You expressed, as I understand it, that you feel a connection with your ex, a connection that might be fated, coincidences happen that indicate some divine plan for the two of you to be together. You then shared about your sister, a bit about your parents, then back to your ex and the turbulent relationship you had with him. Next, you talked a bit about your ex’s parents and his childhood. You referred to yourself as being “commitment- phobic about marriage”, and you shared about a previous relationship that went downhill after he romantically  proposed to you and you felt “a dreaded sense of responsibility.. such revulsion.. it felt like a sentence.. I felt owned”.

You then went back to your recent ex, saying that you were still “not into weddings”, that you “wanted a commitment with him”,  but he couldn’t commit to you. You wondered if you were “too cool in showing” your love for him, and because of that, he “kept looking for others to show him” the love you did not show him.  You shared that every day, there is something that reminds you  of him, suggesting again, in my understanding,  that coincidences that happen suggest that the two  of you are meant to  be together: “Can it be a coincidence, I don’t really believe in those anymore”.

You then shared about your work week and work place: “This bullying manipulating is so toxic and it’s coming from the top down because of greed… Betrayal seems to be the theme of April 2021”. You gave an example of a person “stealing or taking” from you: three years ago, after you made a sale, your boss betrayed you, telling you after the hard work that you did, that she had to give a larger share of the profit to another person who was involved in the sale in a minor way. You are now afraid that the same will happen again, “will they steal from me again with some excuse?… I could work hard on something and someone will say I can’t get paid, because they want to take from me… there is always a reason not to pay me or to pay me less”.

You then shared about a “teasing and bullying, manipulating” new colleague and another person, “this family member” doing the same, then back to your sister, you shared that your relationship with her was always tenuous, that when she visits she “never pays for much”, leaving the paying to your parents or you, even though she and her partner (and child) have way more money than you do. She borrowed clothes from you and returned them torn, that she is selfish and feels entitled and that you are fed up with her behavior.

You shared that as a child, you were “the joker of the family and diffused situations with jokes and humor”. You then shared about your recent ex who became your world, and who criticized the following: “the way I worked, how I cooked, my lack  of sociability, my family, my friends, and that I didn’t care for him.. I was just never enough.. I know he loved me”.

anita