First things first, I never want you to feel bad or ashamed for contacting me. I will always get back to you sooner or later depending on my circumstances. I told you and @Jay2023 I got invested in your journeys so I will always help or listen where I can.

Oh Danny, take a deep breath. You’re panicking because this is your first major bump in the road and it doesn’t help that it was a disagreement over external parties. I’m assuming the old insecurities have surfaced.

Shit hitting the fan was inevitable, you will argue and get on each other’s last nerve at times. This is very normal, it’s how you handle it that’s important. I know after being hurt in the past it is almost impossible to not think this is it, it’s over, but you must not catastrophise. Do you find confrontation difficult usually?

You have to do your best to stay calm, lower your defenses and wait patiently until she is ready to talk it through. Although she ia very communicative generally, in conflict she may like space to reflect, sort out any inner conflict and then return to talk level headedly, WITHOUT emotion clouding her judgement. Also I can’t say for sure but maybe saying she is controlling or whatever else you said turned out to be a trigger for her?

Was there more to it then you let on?

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to allow a woman to take the distance when she wants it. If you start bombarding her to resolve it on your time, she will feel harassed and feel you are very NEEDY. Thats the last thing you want. You need to respect her request, even if she is in the wrong. When you meet in person, that’s your moment to calmly express how you feel and listen to each other and resolve.

Also being obstinate or resistant yourself will just escalate the situation too. So be the rock, stay calm in restless waters.

I know you’re getting married but never take each other for granted. Love is not static it’s dynamic and usually have to keep pushing and working at it. If you focus on wanting happiness for her, she will want happiness for you. That will always keep you together.

@Rhaenys is spot on, when you decide if you want contact with your ex mate, it should be with an open mind but your decision for YOU. Don’t start appeasing in this manner to make her happy. That is the wrong way to make each other happy. You learn to listen and compromise instead. And because it’s your past it’s up to you to decide what’s best or right for you to avoid resentment.

Go and focus on something else, don’t let you mind spiral. Listen to a voice note from her or read something she’s given you to remind you of that love.

It will be okay x

@Jay2023 and @Rhaenys  thank you for getting back to Danny. I hope your journeys are running a little smoother?