Dear lk09,

good to hear from you again. I am sorry you’re struggling again….

Have your parents pressured you into meeting marriage candidates since? You haven’t commented on my post about arranged marriages – do you think you’ll still have to succumb to your parents’ pressure if you don’t find anyone on your own?

I haven’t been sleeping well… I feel mentally drained and tired.

It sometimes feels like it has been years since we broke up when it has only been a month. I feel drained energetically to that point.

Some days I feel I will like someone healthy to be a part of my life but then I question if I am healthy? (mentally)

Should I be even affected by all this the way I am?

It appears your thoughts are torturing you, one of them being whether you’re mentally healthy to find a good guy to marry. It sounds like the same thought of “not being good enough”, or “there’s something wrong with me”. The child reacts like that when they are rejected and treated badly – they always blame themselves, not the parents. This thought might have formed first as a result of being given to your granny (i.e. rejected by your parents), and then later, when being treated as the second-best, always less important than your sister. The child starts thinking “there must be something wrong with me”, “I am not good enough”.

I believe these thoughts are coming up now again, in relation to you being “rejected” by your boyfriend. The cure is in loving that little girl inside of you and telling her how much you love her and appreciate her, and how special she is to you… There’s nothing wrong with her, she’s a precious, adorable little baby, and she’s completely lovable. If you can imagine holding that baby in your arms, smiling at her, playing peek-a-boo with her… I am almost sure it would help…