TeaK,

Everything you say makes sense. I’m torn between my “younger” and “older” part. It’s a fight for survival, and I feel like I’m dying. I woke up now, after 1hour of sleep, gasping for air. Experienced rapid heartbeat, rapid breathing, and sweating. I’m in full panic mode, and I’m afraid I’m going to die.

I just realized I will not leave any legacy or leave a mark on this world that will have meant something when I’m long gone. That means, that when I die, I’ll be gone and forgotten.

I haven’t felt so depressed in days. It is really killing me!!