Thank You TeaK,

You have really good inputs, and every time I read your posts I get enlightened. I also get aware of how much I struggle and how rocky and daunting my road to recovery is. I’m trying to break my negative thoughts by journaling and positive self-talk. But, it doesn’t help because I’m clueless and I’m very weak, both mentally and physically. At the moment, I’m contemplating taking psychoactive drugs. Maybe the drugs will numb my pain and maybe the best scenario will trigger apathy.

Due to the lack of sleep, I’m struggling with intense migraine and half my hair has fallen out. My mother is very concern, due to my health deteriorating and lack of appetite. This morning, I tried to go for a short walk outside, but I didn’t even manage to take two steps.

I still use most of my time reading and listening to sermons. I’m not religious at all, but if it gives me some mind soothing and pain relief, then I give it a try.