Dear kleineBlumealleine,

you’re very welcome. I am glad you’re in a good place in life, having a loving relationship, good friends and financial stability. It means you have a lot of strength and resilience, and the ability to build healthy relationships, in spite of all the hardship you went through.

As for guilt, a child always blames themselves for being mistreated, and believes that if only they change, their parents will finally love them. So it’s natural there’s a part of you who’s tempted to think that. It’s the wounded inner child, I believe.

But it seems you also have a healthy adult part who sees the truth and has compassion for yourself as a child, and for yourself now. This adult part also knows how to protect yourself. That’s why, after having meditated, you came to the conclusion that it’s better to stop communicating with them. You know how to protect yourself, and that’s very important.

So I’d say just stay anchored in that loving, compassionate adult part, and whenever you start feeling guilty and start believing you’re cold and ungrateful – remind your inner child that it’s not her fault and that you’re there to protect her. And remind yourself that they are the cold and unloving ones, and you have every right to protect yourself from their mistreatment.