Dear Murtaza,

I see you’re not too keen to work with a therapist, and not necessarily just because you don’t have money

oh really ? please tell me why on earth i would refuse a unconditional love, acceptance and compassionate

Because you said twice that you don’t want anything that requires “therapy or people”. You earlier said that you lost people – as in, you don’t really have close contacts with anybody except your sister. If  I understood well, you only communicate with people online. All that lead me to believe that your rejection of working with a therapist might not be just about money. But I might be wrong about that.

you even know the amount of luck to find such female, if she even exist in iraq?

When I said that healing happens in the context of a relationship, I didn’t mean romantic relationship but a therapeutic one. Any good therapist is trained to give you the so-called unconditional positive regard, to have compassion and understanding for you, to be non-judgmental, to see you and validate you. We cannot expect our romantic partner to be our therapist. We first need to work on ourselves so we can be capable of a healthy, fulfilling intimate relationship.

You can work on yourself by yourself, without a therapist. I gave an example of a youtube channel where you can start. There are many such channels, with lots of free material, if you’re interested. There are also online courses at affordable prices, which provide more in-depth information than the free stuff. So you’ve got options, you don’t have to “suffer in peace”.