I don’t feel too good these days. As the marriage thing is progressing, I find myself afraid of men and the mere thought of being with someone again is giving me stress. Life consists of only my job currently and since even that is messy so I find myself out of energy and unable to participate in anything.

I avoid talking to people because I feel so mentally drained. Even texting takes effort because It means I gotta commit my time to the conversation till the person wants to go on with conversations. I wait for the weekend to talk to anyone.

I might be slightly depressed and except for food, nothing delights me anymore. I badly want to go out but the situation is still not so good and a probable third wave in the country has been predicted to set in late august-early September. So although I feel so trapped in my room, there is no way to escape this feeling till the situation in the world is normal again.

I don’t think I have genuinely laughed in a long time. I am trying every day but when the situations are same, the results are also the same despite the efforts.