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Dear sossi:
I accidently locked myself out many times because I was too distracted and stressed, like you. I am sorry your father expressed disapproval of you locking yourself out.. better if he expressed honest empathy for you, for being so stressed.
“He then said they should spend less time with me“- I think you should spend less time with them.
“my mom had a tantrum and got mad at me. She was maybe feeling left out or bored or who knows. And I was complaining a lot about my work“- according to my memory, she has always been very self-centered/ selfish and didn’t like any little bit of attention not being on her. I can imagine she hated you taking a lot of attention from her by talking a lot about your work.
‘But my mom doesnt understand…I cant just quit my job“- what if you quit her: I mean, it’s not illegal or impossible.
“I feel like I’m just this natural victim, the person that others hit.. even my own parents! its sometimes hard to believe this“- it is not uncommon for a child to be her parents’ victim, and then to continue and be Victim.
“Could that really be the case? my sister resents me and so does my mom? are they really that cold?“- if it is possible for strangers (other people’s sisters and mothers) to be cold, then it’s possible for your sister and mother to be cold.
“I wish I knew how to turn this ‘fate’ around, this victimization?“- think of your interactions with all the people in your life, starting with your interactions with your mother, your sister and your father. If those interactions are a Lose for you- quit interacting with them.
anita