Dear Lindsey:

Good to read from you before the weekend, thank you for wishing that I enjoy my weekend: I would like that! I remember you enjoying Halloween in years past, and I hope this coming Halloween is exciting and enjoyable for you and the kids, and that tomorrow night dinner and football is enjoyable for you (Utah vs Oregon State, is it?)

Regarding Marty, you wrote: “I’m not sure if this is good or bad but about 50% of me thinks  if he quits texting I would be glad or not really care… with my brain acting healthy-I don’t even know if I will be attracted to Marty.  His behavior is not causing a unhealthy preoccupation that ignores if I am attracted“-

– I just posted to another member regarding the repetition compulsion in romantic relationships:  the compulsion to be attracted to and become preoccupied with a difficult romantic interest because he reminds us of a difficult parent. We then try to change the man  from an unavailable and/ or an uncaring man into an available and caring man. We are driven by a desire to change an unavailable and uncaring parent to an available and caring parent .. using the man as a substitute to the parent. Sounds crazy? Yet, it’s real and so very, very common.

So, avoid the repetition compulsion and if Marty is indeed healthy.. he is your chance to finally have a healthy, loving relationship.. try to find the attraction in that!

anita