I see both of your points. I once had a therapist tell me that with the way I think and analyze everything searching for an answer whether right or wrong could be my own worst enemy. The mind , how it toys with our emotions and how it fills our thoughts with such negative, uncomfortable ideas. Is it part of our nature to believe everything that goes on in our heads, to be manipulated by what we believe to be true? How can I change my way of thinking so that I don’t continue torchurging myself with life’s greatest disappointments… I am great at my job, always being recognized for my accomplishments, I have a great relationship with my children, yet in love I have had too many failures. Is letting go really the number one thing that must be done in order to live a complete and full life? Can someone who thinks as I do ever find love and be successfully happy? One thing I have never been able to overcome is failure at anything. So when I do fail I can’t stop from blaming myself and have trouble understanding what everyone tells me, “it takes two to tango, you weren’t the only one in the relationship. Stop blaming only yourself for what happened.”