Dear Anita + Lindsey,

this below is crucial – and how interesting as it has been over a year that I have been on this forum chatting with Anita

“There is a good chance this guy will not end up being able to meet my emotional needs“-there is a 100% chance that he will not be able to meet all of your emotional needs, not even most. Same is true in my case: no one can meet most or all of my emotional needs. This is the case because I grew up with too much emptiness, for so long.. that the emptiness took hold inside me, and there are too many dreams unlived, too many desires unfulfilled.. for too long”

The The emptiness that comes from various condition such as having an unfulfilling childhood, and unloving mother, and so forth is lifelong. Often we utilize a romantic interest/spouse as a means to fill that void subconsciously. Even the most educated and self-aware of us do this given that filling such a hole and avoid is essential to finding any sort of true feeling of safety in life, let alone joy. It is important to see as above that this person, nor any person can truly fulfill you, but if they are dedicated to getting to know the authentic you, and you are as well – That is good enough,  good enough means that in this crazy world with so many of us having history of trauma that leads to present anxiety, to find a person that’s willing to grow with you, to know the real you, to help you know the real you. That is what it’s about.