Hi anita,
You are right, I do need to regulate my emotions. If I get to a calm state, my life experience will definitely improve. And this will need both making some life changes and working on myself. My only problem is I don’t think I realize my emotional state when I am in the moment. I will work on this.

(Typing this after I finished the post, this paragraph is chaotic, you may ignore it, I am leaving it in to come back to it some time) I do realize I can work on my appearance. There is some resistance there. I just thought about it so this may not be the real reason but I wonder if it is fear of what will happen after I fix what I can. Maybe I think it won’t be enough. I am afraid I will be devastated if I put energy into getting better in the hope of finding love only for it to not work. This is hard. What if I become enough and what I get is bad for me. I don’t want to think about this. It is confusing. I am not sure what is wrong here. Why I simply can’t figure out why I won’t do something about this. I am leaving this paragraph here, maybe I can come back to it.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by samy.