Dear Girija:

“Don’t thank me yet. I hope to actually achieve that goal to test my bravery” – I am very well aware of how difficult it is to persist being brave, to persevere. My thanking you was for just that moment when you expressed bravery, as it did make me feel good!

“Would it be ok to do the bare minimum…  to reduce the extra work… as you know I have a fear of being treated as incompetent and also being disliked by people… So, I wanted to run it by you. Does it make sense to deprioritize work?… Focusing on work depleted me of so much…. Health and love are what I want to focus on” –

– yes, it would be okay, better than okay, highly recommended that you prioritize your health, and part of your health is (as the song says) to love and be loved in return. You will need bravery to carry you through the many moments when you will again, and again, feel the fear of being disliked and being treated as incompetent.

Notice this: your fear survived all the work that you put in for the company. You were depleted by all the work you did… but your fear was not depleted. No reason to think that more extra work will take that fear away!

anita