I have always felt not as good as others.  When I was growing of up, my mother had undiagnosed bipolar disorder and my father was an alcoholic. It was a violent home, and my older sister was disturbed and abusive.  In highschool, I was the Geek Girl who other girls made fun of.  I had absolutely  no confidence.  I met my husband, and thought life was changing and I had met somebody who loved me.  I expected to be married to him forever, and t o an have more children and be happy.

He developed a drinking problem and was emotionally abusive,and despite his denials, I knew he was gay.

It was so hard to leave, but I thought eventually, we would both meet other people who we were suited to, and be happy.  He died from cancer last year, a n d had been with his partner f oir 11 years who he described as the love of his life.