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Dear Anita,
Thank you for laying it out for me. You’ve given me a different perspective. I wanted to believe more than anything that he wouldn’t be a dishonest person. That his words were not just candy coated lies. I feel like I gave my all and if I was simply honest and kind and patient, that would be enough to garner the same back. I would often ask for these things in return as well and sometimes I felt I got them and other times I didn’t. Which I suppose I can now identify as behavior meant to appease me for a bit so I would stop asking.
There is no way I am going back to him. I can see how he has taken my love for granted and I don’t want to feel worthless like that again. I want to move forward but I’m also scared of knowing someone. I truly believed a lot of the kind and sensible things he said. How do I know trust myself again?