Forum Replies Created
July 17, 2020 at 3:44 pm #361973
As I was reading your post, I understand what your wrote because my gut feeling says the same. However, I am saddened to let go of this relationship because I do truly enjoy his company and I’ve been wanting a relationship like this for quite some time. I wonder if I explain my fears and concerns to him, if he would be able to address them and show me what he could do. As much as I am willing to give in to others, I am also very strong on my own core morals and values, something that I have made clear to him and he has told me that he very much values that about me and he would not expect me to change that about myself. It’s his encouragement and his loving words that continue to draw me in. Do you think I am being too naive?
AngelJuly 17, 2020 at 12:18 pm #361954
I agree Anita, I don’t think it’s very fair to him that he needs to hide these things. It also concerns me about what he would do on bigger decisions in life that matter a lot to me. I think that the conservative views also include things like upbringing of children. I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable in thinking about these things so early on but these just seem like really big red flags to me and I don’t know if I should be careful or if I should even bother continuing?
<p style=”text-align: left;”>He meant that he would not join his wife in eating with her when they’re visiting. This seems like it would be a very awkard situation for me and I can see myself being made to feel bad for eating as you said the “forbidden food”. Or even just having a bad relationship overall with his family over things like thise. Ofcourse I know that this is just one example and maybe it wouldn’t even be a big issue but I know that my family would also be affected by this situation and that troubles me further.</p>
AngelJuly 17, 2020 at 10:52 am #361947
Thank you so much for your feedback. I really appreciate it and I definitely find it helpful. You mentioned some things that I was not thinking of!
In regards to your suggestion to ask questions about marriage and long term commitments, I actually have asked him questions. I think he may have already gotten an idea of my concerns and may in fact be giving answers that he thinks will appease me.
For example, because of his religion there are certain dietary restrictions that he is supposed to follow but does not because he doesn’t believe in them. However, his family does and although he says that they either know or have an idea of his choices, he hides it in front of them and in his home when they visit. He claims he does this because he wants them to stay happy with the idea they have and that he is happy with his situation. So I asked him, how he would deal with a situation where his partner would not be okay with hiding this and he replied that he would not stop his partner but he would also not join her either. I am not sure what to make of this because he is in his mid-twenties and I think that maybe this response is not appropriate.
AngelJuly 17, 2020 at 10:04 am #361944
Meeting him again today!
Would appreciate some insight!