Hi Ivygrl

I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with some tough emotions and feel invisible.

Personally, I feel like your mom is wrong about reading online. I do most of my reading exclusively online, is an excellent resource.

Regarding the journal, you manage to write here. A journal would be very similar except perhaps you don’t share it with others.

It sounds like you could have some impulse control issues. I would imagine though that sometimes you do successfully control them.

I would imagine that not every time you interact with someone you would cry, or scream, or be rough. Perhaps these things only happen when things build up and become too much to cope with? I would imagine something similar happened with stealing?

When you are someone who makes mistakes it is important to apologize to make up for the mistakes. People will give you some leeway because of your condition. But your good behaviour outside of when you lose control can help a lot. People will learn that you are a good person who sometimes struggles.

I disagree that these things are your fault or unfixable. You are learning and growing up, things will get easier to manage in time. You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You are judging yourself by your most challenging moments. What is an average day for you?