Dear Addy:

My weekend was fine, thank you. I didn’t see your post before my last reply to you so I will respond to what you shared there as well as to your most recent post:

“I’m trying to upskill myself. Both Tech skills and soft skills“- from indeed. com/ career advice: “Unlike technical skills or ‘hard’ skills, soft skills are interpersonal and behavioral skills that help you work well with other people and develop your career… Soft skills include innate personality traits and abilities that can be learned. Here are key soft skills and how they can help during the job search:

“Communication… The ability to communicate involves knowing how you should speak to others in different situations or settings… Finding a way to tactfully and skillfully disagree with others on the job without creating conflict is an important skill that employers value…Related communication skills: Active listening, Confidence, Conflict resolution, Negotiation, Public speaking, Writing, Nonverbal communication, Empathy.

“Problem solving… Related problem solving skills: Creativity, Research, Risk management, Team work, Critical thinking, Analysis, Decision making, Resourcefulness, Troubleshooting”, and more.

* Maybe I can help you a bit by giving you my feedback on what appears to me as your use of soft skills in this thread: (1)  “Hola Everyone!“, opening of your original post, (2) “Dear Anita: I hope you’re having great Sunday morning” opening of your 2nd post, (3) “Dear Anita, How was your weekend?“, opening of your 4th post, as well as other uses of soft skills I may be able to detect. Would you like that?

“I’m intimidated with some people how much talent and success they have in the same area“- imagine those other people being intimidated by people who have even more talent and success than they do. There is always someone who does something better: no one stays #1 for long. Remember this and have humility and compassion for yourself (and for others) for feeling intimidated by others’ talent and success.

“I do need to see the good progress that I am making so I can build up my confidence“- focus on the progress you make every day, and build on that progress the next day. This way you focus on your hard and soft skills as relative quantities: you are more skilled today than yesterday, less skilled than you would be next week; you are more skilled than some people, less skilled than others.

“About believing in your inherent worth I think more or less has to do with my Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)…  So I’ve dealt with very Low self-esteem, self-compassion and self-confidence but I think it’s lot better than before“- bingo! You compared your self-esteem, compassion and confidence with how it was before, focusing on your progress, excellent!

“(I) got really anxious, chosen wrong college course…I’m living on my own since 16 years of age… It was a bad decision to start profession journey without bachelors’ I realized that so I started my bachelor’s as a distance student and full-time job… But still they (Also me) want a good stability at this age which I’m not there yet. Even though I should be and I’m trying. Maybe that’s why I’m not feeling my worth?“-

– you are doing the best you can, Addy, considering that you were emotionally neglected growing up (and that you’ve been living on your own since the age of 16).

If your parents were adequately attentive to your emotional needs, you’d be more likely to make better decisions and financially provide for them earlier than later. Your current inability to provide for them is the consequence of your parents’ significant to severe emotional inattentiveness.

“like lot of people my parents didn’t knew my emotional needs and they did what they thought is right for me. They just wanted to protect me“-

– unfortunately, consequences don’t care about reasons and intents: a child gets hurt in certain ways because of parents’ behaviors regardless of the parents’ intent or  ignorance vs. knowledge/ education. Think of it this way, if you will: when you drop a piece of glass to the floor, it breaks regardless of your intent (dropping the glass on purpose or by accident), and regardless of your ignorance vs knowledge/ education (knowing or not that this particular glass will break if dropped to the floor).

anita