Dear Addy,

great that you are meditating and exercising daily. Never mind that it’s a short meditation or a light exercise – they’re good for your physical and mental health, and since you’re doing them regularly, that’s what really matters!

Besides a light walk (my knee allowing 🙂 ), I also practice self-observation daily: I notice when something triggers me, and if it’s a bigger thing and I have insights about it, I write it down in a journal. It helps me get clarity on myself and also to regulate my emotions. And it actually helps me feel better in general, because after having processed the trigger (emotionally) and understood what it was about, I tend to feel better.

Dear Addy:

I am better than some, not as good as others. How are you? In regard to “mental & physical health“, which you asked about in your original post here, I looked for what may be relevant to the topic in your previous threads and found this:

“There is this critical negative voice… Today.. I started to realize how much potential I have??? I have so many skills, Endless possibilities and there is so much I can do! Then why I’m not able to maintain that energy of being enough?… I took a test and it says I have some mild signs of (Childhood Emotional Neglect)… like low self-esteem, shunning emotional closeness or intimacy, mild ADHD, etc… I used to be scared of (father) when I was little… scared (of) his anger when I’d do something wrong… he gets angry if things aren’t going as he wants it to be… whenever I do something wrong, or get anxious to find a tool or take some more time to find, he’d get furious and scold me”-

In your quest for mental and physical health do the opposite of neglecting yourself.  Develop a Loving Inner Father Entity (LIFE)  in your brain: a mental entity that loves you and is never angry at you, never furious at you, never scolds you, never criticizes you- no matter what.  Gradually, replace the SIFE (Scolding Inner Father Entity) with LIFE.

LIFE will make it possible for you to actualize more of your potential, make better use of your many skills, maintain that energy, and make some of those endless possibilities happen in your own life!

anita

Dear Addy:

You are welcome. “How can I start?“- get a printed photo of yourself as a young child (your choice of photo, one that you like). Place the photo in the middle of a white thick piece of paper (glued to the paper, or held in place otherwise), or place the photo in a small frame, one that you can carry with you wherever you go. Think of this photo as your special, lovable child. Think of the person looking at the photo as his loving father. If you choose to do this, let me know when you are done and  describe your chosen photo.

anita

Dear Addy,

How you’re self-observing? You mean journaling how you feel and if it’s not something that you want you try to improve that state?

Yes, I notice when I feel upset about something, or very sad about something. Let’s say I feel upset and angry about something. I write down what it was that disturbed me and why. I jot down everything that comes to mind related to the incident, and eventually I come up with an insight.

It can be either about myself, e.g. I may find out that I have a false belief about myself or other people, which caused me to react too strongly. Or sometimes I realize I have some expectations that I shouldn’t have, and I was upset when those expectations weren’t met. Once I realize that, I can let go of the expectation and my anger disappears.

Or the insight can be about the person I got disturbed with, e.g. that they are crossing my boundaries in some way, or behave in a way that is unacceptable to me. And then I decide what to do about the situation, so that I wouldn’t have to experience this kind of unacceptable behavior any more. I can either talk to the person, if they are close to me, or I can limit my exposure to them, or some other action, which I find appropriate.

In any case, journaling leaves me with a useful piece of information and insight about myself or the other person, and usually with a plan how to improve on the situation. So that I don’t get triggered (or at least not so much) next time.