Dear Eric:

“She also told me that she’s a person that can fall in love more, the more she know that person. And she said she loves me more every day. Like how can I not cherish her? When she said that I feel more and more grateful that I met her“- she sounds like a gem indeed, and I hope that you see yourself the way she sees you: lovable! It is possible to love you, and to love you even more!

“I did tell her that i tend to overthink and I’m a very cautious person… She said it’s good that I’m cautious but she tells me that sometimes I also need to have the courage to take a decision, not only being cautious and cant deciding on something“- she reads like an intelligent, honest and good hearted young woman, a gem indeed!

“I do reassure her, that if she gains more weight I’ll still love her“- good to read this!

“But yes, I also do feel disappointed, because I’ve been trying my best, thinking of ideas. Like what should I do more to make her more comfortable and make her more convinced that I’ll do my best for her. My head is already really tired thinking of ideas every time I meet her“- you should think way less about ideas to make her more comfortable: limit your thinking (if you can). Your overthinking (on any topic!) is hurting you and it will hurt her too, sooner or later.

Like I said repeatedly, I am worried that your occasional misinterpretation of her words, a misinterpretation that causes you to feel disappointed and angry at her, will lead to you mistreating her.

“I haven’t felt safe around her yet, like there’s still a high probability that she can leave me. That’s why I keep feeling this pressure, and I also try to avoid emotional pain and heartbreaks at all costs… I wanna cherish her and make her happy“- so being so afraid that she will leave you, you are at your best behavior: keeping your disappointment and anger to yourself, showing her how much you cherish her best you can…

I am worried that once you feel safer around her, you will then express your disappointments and anger (based on this or that misinterpretation of her words) and.. forget about cherishing her.

“Also there’s something I’d like ur opinion on this issue, as I’m going to meet her tomorrow…. Should I tell her that I once approached a person on social media..“- no, because your fears are based on a series of future events that may not happen: (1) the girl you are dating didn’t yet announce the relationship on social media and told you that she is not ready to do that yet, (2) if and when she posts about the relationship on social media, her sister’s close friend may not remember that you flirted with her and/ or may not say anything about, (3) If the close friend tells the sister of the girl you are dating, the sister may not say anything about it, (4) If she did, the girl you are dating may not think much about it and may not say anything about it to you.

“Or should I just let it go“- yes, let it go for now- if you can. Think about it again later,  if (and after) the events I referred in the #1, 2, 3 and 4, above happen.. if they happen.

anita