Dear Tee,

yes I’ve been to the doctor. I’ll have to go to physical therapy and hopefully that should help… it’s not that simple, but I am hoping that physical therapy will relieve the symptoms.

I see, I hope you’ll be alright and may you able to create the healing energy for your own self.

In fact, I am trying do something that makes me very anxious with respect to my career. But still, I want to try…

In a way that’s really a good step as well. So you should be proud of that. How is your freelancing journey going on?

Good that you haven’t pretended that much in your 2nd relationship. But you’ve mentioned that she saw you as quite critical, pushing her to do things quicker and faster (perhaps similar to how you’ve been pushing yourself?). And you were impatient because she wasn’t following your suggestions? Perhaps in your “brutal honesty”, you were lacking compassion? Again, lack of compassion for both yourself and for her as well?

Yes you analysed it right. I was projecting my things on her. Which wasn’t healthy. But I believe I did learn some compassion from her. She was trying for that but I wasn’t listening and just blindly driven

You’re welcome! Yes, take is slowly, step by step, and see what response you’re getting…

Yes for sure!

I got you. You fear commitment… do you think it’s because you never want to get  married (because it seems like a burden, loss of freedom, or something similar), or you don’t want to get stuck with someone who’s not right for you?

I want to get married. I know that because I love kids. But if I get married now I do fear loss of freedom and it’s just that I just have lot to do, still lot to see in this world, lot to accomplish. And another thing is that deep down I think it’s really hard to find the right person (Considering the current dating & relationship scenario). So better to wait… No need be in hurry for that.

So you want to be in a non-committed, casual relationship with someone who is afraid of commitment like you are? Someone who won’t force you to commit, but will just enjoy the time spent together but not want deeper (emotional) intimacy?

As per my situation 2 of my friends suggested me that. And it’s definitely new for me because I haven’t tried that before I know it’s really complex thing to do. Is there something in between relationship middle of casual and committed? 😆

I mean, you can do that, I am sure, but how fulfilling will it be? And what will you learn that way? In my opinion, getting into casual relationships can cause more trouble than good, so I wouldn’t use it for learning. Because it may come with a price, of being heart-broken, or even getting an STD (sorry for being “brutally honest”).

Well you’re right it would just make the heart feels empty one way or another. I believe in safe sex or even being tasted first, so rare to none chance for STD

So I wouldn’t take that route, but would rather take the lessons you’ve learned so far, and try to do it differently next time: take things slow, step by step. Open up with one vulnerable thing, and see how she reacts. Be more compassionate both toward yourself and towards her… So, apply the things that we’ve talked about already.

I’m still thinking about it too. Because one of the girl texted me to spend this weekend with her. To be honest at first, I was really tempted. But I do want to taking things slow and step by step as you said… So I told her for next week and maybe I’ll meet and see how things goes from there

And yeah, I’m working on my compassion and empathy as well 😊