Dear Anita,

You are right. Now that I sit and think about it, these supervisors are not in any position to make me feel bad. They can’t judge what I’ve done because they themselves aren’t moral or ideal and act in a way that pleases them. They try to look for their convenience and treat those below them as just instruments to getting the job done. I think I need to harden myself and try to occasionally be in my own corner rather than shaming myself. I’ll keep in mind what you said about – the question is how to be a model and ideal person in a world that is so far from being a model or an ideal world.

I can make mistakes and when my mistake wasn’t fuelled by bad intentions or causing harm to anyone, it’s okay. I have to be kinder to myself. And learn that it’s okay to make mistakes. Trying to live up to everyone’s version of “ideal” employee or student will only cause me trouble. I am allowed to do things that might be considered selfish or even wrong because I’m being an inconvenience to others in the process of showing myself some kindness.

Thank you for making me realise this, Anita. Talking with you has helped me an immeasurable amount.