Dear Anil,

you’re very welcome.

The toxic behaviour was I blamed them for my unhappiness. I did not abuse either of the women physically or verbally but I texted them mean words, avoided them and stopped talking to them

I see… so you said something mean to them, you blamed them for your unhappiness, and then you stopped contact. Yeah, I mean, it wasn’t nice, but it’s understandable – it was pain and hurt speaking from you, and this was your way to express your anger.

I believe that a lot of your current pain and suffering is related to your childhood, because you said you didn’t really have any emotional support, and you grew up exposed to your parents fighting all the time:

My childhood was not good to be honest, it was okay. My parents would always have constant fights and arguments in the house which gave me a bit of trauma and no emotional support.

In such an environment, without tenderness, care and gentle feelings, the child feels terrified. Also, the child feels unseen and unimportant, because the parents don’t care about him, don’t pay attention to him, but are preoccupied with hurting one another. The child’s emotional needs are unmet, even if his physical and material needs are met. So even if your parents provided for you and enabled you good education, it seems they still failed in providing what is most important: emotional care and support.

I think that’s why you are in such a dire need to be loved and cared for. And that’s why you tend to “latch onto a person, hoping I would find happiness.” The child in you has those key emotional needs unmet, and he is looking to have them met by another person, i.e. a romantic interest. At least this is my assumption. How does it sound to you? Does it sound plausible?