Dear Caroline

I suggest you watch Eckart Tolle on youtube talking about the “pain body”. This may explain in part of what is happening to you.

Most people occasional reminisces about past relationship and what could or can be. Occasionally I bump into a ex and even though my heart flutters & I go all girlie, but after we have chatted for a while I realise that I do not really want to revisit that relationship ( the grass is always greener on the other side until you get to the other side!) Also how hurt do you think your current girlfriend would be if she found out  ( mental infidelity often comes before the physical action).

What ever you choose to do it may help for you to learn more about your internal life and how to become aware of  thought processes and emotions and how nurture yourself so that you can bring your best to any relationship that you are in.