Dear artemis:

What a story. You had a reasonable and loving mother, “practically best friends“. She supported you having a boyfriend from 9-12th grade, not a sexual relationship (“I’ve never had sex out of respect and promise I made to my mother to wait till I marry“), but then her physical and mental health took a beating of some sort and she found comfort in a religious institution where there is a man who is now “close friends” with her. He goes into trances, and told her a long time ago, in a trance, that you had a (now an ex) boyfriend and that you “mistake love for lust“.

A year and a half later, in college, you met a new guy, your current partner, a wonderful partner. But the close friend of hers, in a trance, told her that you (at 20) were “of bad character and being a trash of a woman“.

Now 22, you still “feel dirty and ‘impure’” because of what he said.

“I graduate next year and want to make things serious with him as the two of us had decided. My mother disapproved  of my bf even without meeting him and included my dad into this charade… On my graduation, I want to introduce him to my parents and he is keen on meeting them. I’m afraid that things might go severely bad and lead to circumstances different from what my partner and I have thought of for our future… I would appreciate if I could get any wisdom regarding how I address this situation”-

-my advice: for as long as your mother is under the influence of this particular religion that includes a man allegedly in trances where he vilifies YOU, I wouldn’t introduce your partner to her. You don’t know how her close friend will spin the introduction into a new trance. You don’t want to feed his vile trances with new information.

I am sorry that you lost your mother to.. some kind of insanity. I hope that you will get her back sometime soon.. But for now, protect yourself from the stranger that she has become. Does my advice make sense to you?

anita