Dear allette:

I hope that you are feeling better today..?

You shared that you’ve been in a relationship with your boyfriend for 2 years. A month ago, he told you “that he is not feeling the same way anymore“. You asked him “what brought the problem“?, and “he said it (is) nothing, his feelings are not just the same, and he feels like we should break up as he doesn’t want a recurrence in the future“.

The two of you then agreed “to work out for a month on the connection“,  and the result, 2 weeks later: “he said there is an improvement but not enough… he said he need some space to navigate through his feelings“.

The two of you then took a 2-weeks break, which ended yesterday (Sat, Feb 10), when he told you that “there is no way to save our relationship“. The two of you agreed “to meet for a dialogue“, but he postponed meeting you, and by yesterday afternoon (your 2nd post), you did not meet for a dialogue, “he doesn’t want to explain anything… we have really never actually talked seriously about what is happening to us now“.

I will be trying to bring up possibilities in the following quotes & comments as to what’s been happening in your relationship. These are only possibilities based on the little information that you provided in only 2 posts:

“When I told him it’s gonna be a long talk, he simply said ‘no it’s not‘. Why can’t we just hear each other out?“- you did not ask or suggest to him that the two of you will have a talk, and a long talk at that.. you told him. And like a child who does not like to be told what to do/ to be bossed around, he said: NO, IT’S NOT (going to be a long talk)..?

“We have the most perfect relationship…   By perfect I mean, We really never had a heated argument. We always try to solve the problem immediately“- there were arguments (although not heated arguments). I wonder how those arguments were resolved and if they were resolved to his satisfaction. Maybe some heat built up in him during many (?) not quite resolved arguments, and that heat caused him to end the relationship eventually.

Maybe he is and has been a selfish, heartless man who does not care about most or all other people, including about his girlfriend of 2 years. Maybe he felt powerless in the relationship (for valid and/ or invalid reasons) and wants his power back…?

anita