Dear Lynn:

You are welcome! When an original poster (you, in this thread) posts a second time, I usually go back to the original post and see if combining the two posts, I can learn something new, I will do it here as well:

The two of you are recently divorced and living far away from each other. You met him five months ago in your home location where he was on business. You “talked constantly” during the 5 months, and met in-person a total of 3 times. The talking and meetings were of a romantic nature. After the 3rd meeting, a decision was made to be friends only. The two of you kept talking as (labeled) friends, but there was an undeniable romantic connection between the two of you, “and even though we said we would put a halt to it, neither one of us really did”. After the 3rd in-person meeting, he sent you a message “saying he needs some time to figure out his feelings and if he wants or needs to be in a relationship right now”.

(I am adding the boldface feature to the following): “I have always tried to give him his space, hardly ever text this man first and am generally non confrontational, not because I don’t care, I just don’t want to push him out of my life completely… All I can do now is give him time I suppose. I don’t want to potentially miss out on something great with this man but I’m also not going to wait forever if someone can’t make up their mind how they feel about me”-

– you are giving him time and space, but what is the content of his time and the nature of his space? Having talked with him as much and as often as you did in the last 5 months, you probably know his daily routines, if he often meets new people, new women, if it is easy for him to form connections, or is it difficult. You don’t want to push him, but is there someone else pushing him where he lives (perhaps a woman pushed him to end the friendly labeled contact with you..?)

While your time and your space is about waiting for him, the connection you feel to him uninterrupted; his time and space may not be about waiting for you, and his connection to you may be interrupted and diluted by connections with others. I don’t know, of course, but what you do know about his personality (extroverted, introverted, etc.) and his routines can give you a strong clue as to the chances of a future romantic relationship with him.

” My friends are a little biased and think I should just stop with this man but that’s not where my heart is just yet“- the heart wants what the heart wants, but is the heart wise? There is a mathematical equation in regard to wisdom: wise mind= emotional mind (the heart)+ rational mind (the ability of the brain to see the bigger picture).

You are welcome to post again anytime you feel like it, if you do!

anita